Road Journals - Vol 11 (February 2004)
The Road Goes on Forever & the Therapy Never Ends
(still crazy after all these years)
(if we werent all crazy......we would go insane."
obviously a lack of drugs has really helped me focus
these new drugs help me speak clearer
random thoughts from a lost mind
that at this point i have lost intrest in finding.
if you stumble on it......its yours
oh and the rymes just keep coming
i got called to read a poem at the serority sisters home
my heart was pouning and my legs were swimmin
i wound up with the dean of women.
my name is not karen o.......its eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh
perscription drugs to counter street corner drugs..
mostly just dealers in different outfits.
really putting my sanity and dillusions of granduer together.
where the buffalo roam
its the closest i can come to showing you my ninties
i signed on for the whole trip.............
will kimbrough is even better than the real thing
disagree? well fuck you.
airports need more clocks
could somebody take care of this for me
and also this weather.
youd think somebody could help.
im leaving liza minnille
she is physically abusive to me
then were off to marikesh to meet that guy who knows the good vibes
that friend of the beatles
i can get into it
i should be a zen master by friday
the president calls and calls for my help
but i wont give it to him
on account of what he did to the texas rangers
i cant trust a guy who dont know baseball
which is why i think dan baird will be the man for prez in 2004
when i come back i will do my shows shirtless
with zero regard for the flab and saddness that time has beaten me down with
my hairs falling out and my rights are all wrong.
heres my drug story
i was living on a sofa
sober in a hovel in california
lost my car....
sleeping on someones sofa
no love life
no parents with a number i could call
begging for change on mendicino av.
trying to find a ride somewhere
my "room mate"
by that i mean the guy who wondered how long i would be on his sofa
was a little stressed
finally one night i got on the roof to play harmonica
the cops came
i thought i sounded all right but
they kicked me out
the tipsy gypsy tour started there.
i became a mess by trade
i found and old abonded building and slept there
a day or so later a bum offered me some mad dog twenty twenty
and a joint
the rest is a blur
i was eighteen years old
with nothing to my name but some albums
and volumes of poetry i was writing.
i met a bum on the street who took me in to a warmer abondend building
ricky was the bums name and he offered me more booze
then another joint.
then some acid.
the rest of my twenties is a blur.
a true blur
same with my thirties
how i got to so many towns i truly cant recall
the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom
mostly loose leaf travel in any dangerous car going anywhere
truly recless indangerment
hitchhiking high and drunk to nowhere
it just kept getting worse til it turned into an even more total blur of insanity
this was in santa rosa .....i dont remember much about going to texas
except having to leave my clothes in the air port ....to keep my records
texas also is a drunken drugged out blur..
actually eighty two to two thousand four is a blissful whirlwind
of sickness and debaunchery
move forward to two thousand four.
the shit hit the fan
sure i lost my car......but i found it
bill hicks had a similiar experience
"shit there it is......behind that dumpster."
then out of the blue my body said enough
a few days later i awoke in a rehab hospital
with no real memory of what happened for ten years
looking into my life i found
i had hope
parents who called me back
people who sent me flowers
an agent and a record deal
personal phone numbers to all my heros
and some funky clothes
even dogs and friends
and wonderful friends who sent flowers and well wishes
blurry strangers of loving friends
with great stories to tell about things id done in the ninties
and continued to this day
with no remorse about not letting truth get in the way of a good story
so .....uh.......you know....like ......dont do drugs or something kids
i guess......cuz ......your life will go nowhere......or maybe somewhere
i dont know ......im a real roll model or something
as bill hicks says ......
well......im sure he says something....or another
i gotta have more cow bell baby
now im dating winona rider.......for my career.....
actually to qoute my hero hunter s thompson
" i hate to advocate drugs,alcohol, insanity, wreckless behavior, sexual devience,
wander lust and and a complete lack of concern for the future to anyone
but......in my case its worked.
some say ......towns van zant is dead
eatin by cannibals
but i dont believe that and wont
not until i gnaw on his skull with my very own teeth
the ninties werent the sixties but they were wild
and i personally had signed on for the whole trip
its tuesday now....shit ....did that happen to you too.
well at least cable has free porn.....or should i say mtv
i sure did enjoy the first seconds of janets breasts
a true honor for the porn game...
drug dealers, strippers, truck drivers, three time losers
these are people i understand.
i dont trust people with out criminal records
i dont trust people with manicured lawns.
jennifer aniston harrasses me daily by phone and email
i have had it.
time as we know it is now.
so where to now.....white knuckled sobriety to eliviate the pain of continued hard drug use
for fifteen years.
i hear it was good times
ive seen the photos
i isolate more than anything
in the last year ive been to hundreds of towns and hotels
a jail cell in oregon...another in tennessee.
hospitals in towns i cant recall
lost my best friend
went to a mental hospital
had alticarations i cant recall
many many songs i cant recall writing
a drug rehab
a record studio
cheatham street wharehouse.
and the rose pepper bar.
now im just dropping in to see what condition my condition is in
i feel like a cave man frozen ten years in ice
do i regret my life......shit no
its the one i wanted.......
wrecklessness as an art form
im still looking for the dumbest car to jump in i can
im not afraid to die til i think im dying
then im bummed.
satchell pages tomb stone says
"i knew if i hung around here long enough
something like this was bound to happen"
on my tombstone i want it to say "free music"
and then underneath i want
" i told y'all i was sick"
i dont want my name on there
"now im in a really good place"
i got that from a whiney houston artical
truth is .....im a mess ......my brain wont shut up
about mundane bullshit
calling all cars
calling all cars
we have an idiot....
to live outside the law you must be honest.
see now these are the good times
im off drugs now a while and i feel zero percent better.
"you know what it feels like to wake up with every bone in your body aching god dammit.
do you know what it feels like to wake up in the midde of the night and have to sit down to take a
piss.....you say you do missy but i have my doubts"
"way down ......way down it must be
cant stop this misery
it must be way down"
ok......enough of the sugar coating
as lou reed says "vicous .....you hit me with a flower"
i got a new album coming....
oh blah dee oh blah da life goes on.
on the road again.
so thats this months shiny happy people journal entry
woven in with cynical views about everything but lazy ass happiness.
pumping gas in paradise.
the cardiac kid
its to cold here in tennesse
twenty degrees and a the hockey game is on
nobody care we are way to far gone
singing boat drinks ......i gotta go where its warm
riddle i got a line on a bus......wanna drive.
new album coming,. new tour coming.
oh yeah.....and war .....lots of war........
flag waving war shit......power of pride stickers next to jesus stickers
pasted on by non bible reading christians
is the bible the word of god?
thats the real question
i believe in gay marraige
porn in schools
and the dawning of the age of aquarius
i got a new record of liberal rantings over country beats
its an effort to alienate i guess.....but i love it
soon i will dissapear without a trace......
maybe new orleans maybe mexico....
as jerry jeff says the only way to know how much is enough
is to do to much and back up.
sanity has never been on a wish list for me
im a gypsy
my goal is to drift around without drawing attention to the fact
that my real name is not todd snider
and i am wanted in many counties
and they call the wind
its not so much the heat as it is the humility
stomp on the terra my friends
stomp on the terra.
........see you on a road ......or on the side of one
we aint going no where were just leaving.
were just going somewhere to believe in.
i got a new album ......oh blah dee
........save the vote
rock the planet
check out that titty
swinging off janet.
oh i wonder wonder who.....ooh ooh ooh ooh
who wrote the book of love.
swanswan humming bird hooray we are all free now
hey captain dont you want to buy some bone chips and toothpaste
ill take the bone chips
but toothpicks......i dont know.
shake it like a polaroid picture
john prine rules
roses are red violets are blue
my back is killing me mother fucker
scooby doobie doo.
(now thats poetry)
they say elvis is dead
judge judy is sexy like a mother fucker
melita says hey to y'all
and to me she says......."your nuts"
ok......so maybe liza is the one for me
ill call her later .......much later
when my face lift settles
same with my butt implants.......
does this milk smell funny to you?
what you talking bout willis?
ps.....memphis and reno rocked
so did smashville
and those flowers made the weekend for me
i put them on my dads grave
jack ingram still owes me seven fifty......
will kimbrough is the god send.....
enough about drama and drugs.
going to a go go